My chicken suit!

No, I don't really have a chicken suit. But remember Aeryn’s list? That really long one that describes her Mr. Perfect? Well, like I said, there’s a back story behind every single point on that list. Some of them are funny, others are just common sense. I’ll only be including about 5-10 of these back stories in the actual book, but I’m writing scenes for most of them in case I choose to include a different one. (There are about 40 points on the list, so it would be pretty impossible to include every single back story).

But like I promised, here’s an excerpt for/back story behind point #29 on the list: Doesn’t own a chicken suit. (It's the longest one I'll post. I haven't decided yet but this one isn't likely to be in the book, which is why I decided to post it. The scene is between Aeryn and Daniel, one of Aidan’s friends. If it makes the cut, it’ll be for a bit later in the book.)

            He looked up from the list and raised an eyebrow. “Doesn’t own a chicken suit?” I nodded, not quite sure what was so outrageous about this point. Of course, it would be a little trickier to ask in the middle of a conversation, but definitely possible. As long as the conversation was already going downhill. “Why would someone own a chicken suit?”

            “There was this guy,” I started to explain, lying back down on the cold, concrete floor. “We went out once and on our second date, I told him how when I was little, I used to imagine myself living on a farm and taking care of animals, especially chickens and horses.” Daniel chuckled and I couldn’t help but smile. “Don’t laugh. I had big dreams.”

“Had? Aeryn, have you seen your list? Even Ken doesn’t live up to it.”

I scoffed. “You can’t compare the guy I’m looking for to a male version of Barbie.”

“You compared my girlfriend to Barbie,” he pointed out, then stuffed a handful of popcorn in his mouth. Most of it landed on the floor, again providing more food for the rats.

I rolled my eyes. “Gaby’s a human Barbie. I don’t see why you’re still denying it. Her boobs are so big that it’s only a matter of time until she topples over and falls flat on her face.”

This time, Daniel’s laughter wasn’t followed by a round of denial and I was tempted to ask if Gaby had forgotten to attach her camera chip to him. He nudged my side. “The chicken suit.”

“Ah, the chicken suit. Well, on our third date, the guy shows up at my doorstep dressed in a chicken suit. I think he thought it was cute and thoughtful. We get to the restaurant and when I order a chicken soup, I think he literally lost it. Still not sure why. He got up from his chair as if being dressed in a chicken suit wasn’t embarrassing enough, and then he did this…” I grimaced, just remembering how embarrassing that night had been. The glances hadn't stopped until he dropped me off at home. Even then, my mother's confused look didn't budge until Chris drove away. “He did this…really strange dance and said it was for Buddha.” Beside me, Daniel raised an eyebrow, a look of complete disbelief on his face; if I hadn’t been at that restaurant myself that night, I wouldn’t have believed a word of this story. I nodded to reassure him that this sad story was in fact true. “When he sat down, I told him that my mom suffered from Alzheimer and that I couldn’t leave her alone for too long because she might wander the streets at night and get lost.”

“Your mom doesn’t have Alzheimer.”

I sighed. “I know. So did he.”